Sunday, April 25, 2010

The L Word

A few minutes ago, one of my close friends called to tell me her boyfriend had just dropped the "L" word. Excited and surprised, she began to fill me in on this momentous occassion. I was thrilled for her but something inside me made me quiver at the idea. You see, the two have only been dating for one month. I'm not sure if I was a bit skeptical because the statement came too sudden, or if I was jealous of her new romance. Whatever it is, I feel uneasy about this whole proclaimation. Does that mean I, the person who used to believe in love and loved the idea of love has become anti-Cupid?

After five dates in the past two months, I still haven't found anyone who has come close to what i'm looking for. I guess you can say, that I've kind of given up on the idea of this L word. Honestly, it scares the living day lights out of me. I don't want to take anymore chances, and put myself on the line. As bad as this may sound, as soon as my friend told me about her romantic evening, I flash forward to a scene several months down the road. This scene entailed cartons of Ben & Jerry's, a bottle of wine, a day at the spa, and a box of tissues. You know exactly what I'm talking about ladies, it's called a break-up.

Dont get me wrong, I want to believe, and I am surely happy for my friend, but something keeps holding me back from the thing called love.

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