The L Word

A few minutes ago, one of my close friends called to tell me her boyfriend had just dropped the "L" word. Excited and surprised, she began to fill me in on this momentous occassion. I was thrilled for her but something inside me made me quiver at the idea. You see, the two have only been dating for one month. I'm not sure if I was a bit skeptical because the statement came too sudden, or if I was jealous of her new romance. Whatever it is, I feel uneasy about this whole proclaimation. Does that mean I, the person who used to believe in love and loved the idea of love has become anti-Cupid?

After five dates in the past two months, I still haven't found anyone who has come close to what i'm looking for. I guess you can say, that I've kind of given up on the idea of this L word. Honestly, it scares the living day lights out of me. I don't want to take anymore chances, and put myself on the line. As bad as this may sound, as soon as my friend told me about her romantic evening, I flash forward to a scene several months down the road. This scene entailed cartons of Ben & Jerry's, a bottle of wine, a day at the spa, and a box of tissues. You know exactly what I'm talking about ladies, it's called a break-up.

Dont get me wrong, I want to believe, and I am surely happy for my friend, but something keeps holding me back from the thing called love.

Branding with your Beau

Being in advertising, the word branding comes up a lot. I like to think of a partnership as creating a brand of your own.. the two of you. A SYNERGY. Synergy being that two things go together no matter how alike or different they may be. Until you can decide how you want to position your own unique brand you can expect to create a brand with your partner.

How many of you have heard of the reverse Ben Franklin checklist? I know I have, may have even done it on a few occasions. This so called checklist allows you to compare your wants/desires in a mate with your current or past partner. Often times a lot of things on your desired list don't add up with your current partner. (Maybe because we got too caught up on what we thought we wanted in a romantic partnership?)

Is it time for you to rewrite your own list for a current or future relationship? Maybe it's time we forget our physical wants but make it more about our feelings. How do you want to feel? Perhaps it's time you make a New Love List. In order to make this new list, first, you may need to figure out what it is that you need in a partnership and create that synergy as I mentioned earlier.

Instead of saying; he's got to be Jim Carey meets Ben Stiller funny, how about: I want us to laugh our butts off when we're together. Or how about not; we have to believe in the same things, try: i want to feel like he truly "gets" me. By doing this new checklist, you'll not only discover what is truly important to you but how the two of you can work together as your own brand as a couple.

Mr Funny, Mr Hotstuff, and Mr Rich just won't cut it unless you're a superficial gold digger who has no sense of ambition or passion for life. Don't try to date a comedian, you'll end up not taking him or the relationship seriously. Don't seek after the tall, dark and handsome, you could overlook the guy of your dreams. And don't wish for a guy with money, but instead a guy with a passion. We want to feel inspired by our partner's drive and aspirations, no matter what their job title.

In the end, it's about what and who makes us happy. It may be time to drop your old lists and figure out how you REALLY feel and what type of person can make you feel not only desired and wanted but can challenge you yet "gets" the true you.

Everyone has a Story..

Several weeks ago, a guy friend of mine and I were out to dinner, and when I say guy friend, I strictly mean guy friend. As we looked around the dimly lite restaurant, we noticed a plethora of people who were sitting by themselves at the bar or either perceived as a third wheels among couples. We began to analyze what these people were doing alone at a bar so near to Christmas, and make up stories as to why they seemed so oddly misplaced. One sharply dressed lady for instance was seated at the far end of the bar nursing her martini. She didn't appear to be meeting someone for cocktails, so what was she doing?

As we picked and poked and tried to decipher these people, we came to the conclusion that we would never know. The moral is, everyone has a story, and so did we. As far as relationships go, he hadn't met the right girl I presumed because he's been single ever since I've known him, which has only been two years. He told me he had trust issues, which I think is a total cop-out I told him, but if that's his story so be it. I have trust issues too, I proclaimed, but that doesn't hold me back from life or love. I've had my heart broken, and broken a few, which I don't say proudly, but I'm not afraid to take a risk. Over the next several days, I began to think about our dinner conversation, and concluded that just maybe, he is right.

Should you be afraid to express your feelings? Should you protect yourself in any relationship? Should you not take a chance and risk a great match? I'm still pondering all of these questions, that came about over a dinner chat with a friend that has issues. As hard as it is for me to say, I think he's right. Maybe someone shouldn't risk it all for love and maybe you should listen to those little instincts you have, because maybe they are indeed right. A hopeless romantic no more, maybe we should all take advice from the opinionated Kanye, and keep our love lockdown. Who knows? All I know is Everyone has a story and this is mine.



but your "story" can only get you so far for so long..