Too Forward?

Is it okay to be straight forward in relationships?  You tell me.  If you like someone should you ask them out?  In most cases, yes..get up that courage, and just do it!  However, if you feel like you will be shot down, and your not a total pessimist, save yourself the disappointment.

As college students, we all are faced with this question.  Is it okay for girls to ask guys out, and vice-versa.  I personally wouldn't ask a guy out, but hey, its 2008.  And for guys, get up that courage, who knows, the hottie in your class may dig you too. 

 

If you're a girl, and you know the guy is too shy, suggest an activity to do together, so it's not like you're asking him on a date.  If I were you, I wouldn't advice dinners or movies, that's an automatic "date".  Word it in a way where he thinks you two are just "hanging out", and see where it goes.

Nothing is wrong with asking, but trust your gut feeling that the person may be interested in you too!

Who knew??

What's attractive? We all ask ourselves this maybe daily. I know I do, whenever I see a cute guy, I often find myself wondering why do I find him appealing? Guys and girls a like sometimes have a type, but what makes you fall for someone?

For most people the term "love at first sight" is way off base. Of course we may oogle over a favorite celebs like Patrick Demsey or Angie, but their is more to it than what meets the eye.

Confidence, poise, a sense of humor, being laid-back are all attractive. However different people find different traits attractive as we all know. Maybe that so called "nerd" at the coffee shop with the wide rimmed glasses isn't your so called "type", but hey, give him a chance!

I get so sick of the term "he's too nice". Trust me in a relationship, you want niceness along with of course mystery (as described in a previous blog).

Of course you don't want to settle for a nice guy that you aren't compatible with, but give niceness a chance. After all, that book savy, glasses wearing, coffee-shop goer may end up to be Mr. Wonderful.

Ahh, it's a mystery.

Why is it that we love mystery? When it comes to dating, girls and guys both like a little mystery in their "love interest". Shouldn't we just be as upfront, honest, and simple as possible?? The answer is yes--and no.

Let's face it how many of us are interested completely in someone who is at our becan call 24/7?Truth is, we loose interest when we know what he/she is doing and whom they are doing it with all the time. Of course we want our new interest to be honest, but too much info can be too much. I by no means am an expert when it comes to relationships, but I do know this; leave them wondering from time to time.

Someone once told me, that he/she who is the least concerned with the relationship has the "upper hand". This doesn't mean that this person is untrustworthy or a "dirt-bag". It simply means that the person with the upper hand balances the relationship with friends, and their own interests. Of course you should care about the other person's feelings, but don't get too wrapped up, especially in the beginning stages of the relationship.

Be you, and be true, but protect your heart too. Take things sloooow. Get to know each other before you jump into a status relationship.

Dating etiquette

A first date brings about many questions. Who pays?, do we meet?, who drives? The answer is simple, stick to old-fashioned rules. In the dating world, and certainly on first dates, their are major rules of thumb everyone should go by.

Yes, the days of men "bringing home the bacon", and making all household decisions are loooong gone. Woman have as much power as men in relationships, but please ladies on the first date, let him pay for dinner. If he doesn't insist or make the effort to pay, he lacks sophistication.

Secondly if you're date lives within a reasonable driving distance, he should come pick you up for your evening out. He should also come to the door to get you. Dating is an act of courtship, and he should be honored to be going on a date with you. These small gestures indicate that he is a gentleman. Men should also be on time to pick their date up. Being on time shows effort and organization. If you wish to cancel a date, do so within a reasonable amount of time. If your date was that evening and something has come up, cancel that morning, and apologize. This shows maturity.

It is important for men to compliment their date on how she looks. Complimenting shows interest, and that you have taken the time to notice your date and her efforts.

When you arrive at your date destination, it is important to keep drinking to a minimum. You are probably just meeting this person and don't want to come off as a party-animal or avid drinker. Believe me, this type of behavior is not becoming.

Men and women should never lie about anything on a date in order to impress. Remember, you WILL get found out. Also, you should never be rude to your date or others. Arguing with or treating waitstaff with no respect shows you are crude.

You must also be a good listener. It is fine to talk about yourself, but you should be interested in your date, and ask them questions too. If you continue to talk about yourself during the date, maybe you should have just gone on a date with yourself.

Finally, at the closing of your date, make sure she gets home safely. If you wish to see your date again, tell them. Call when you promise to call and do not keep someone guessing. If you don't like your date then don't falsely promise anything or leave the door open for future dates. Again this shows a great disrespect for your date if you do so.

Dating, single, and in-between

Ever wonder when it's time to call it quits in your relationship? How do you know for certain? Well, only you can be the judge of that, and time will certainly tell. Many of us find ourselves trapped in a dead-end relationship wondering what to do next. You have two options 1-attempt to fix whats broken. 2-end it. Ending a long term relationship with your significant other can be much harder than it seems. However, in the long run it can benefit you tremendously. Why hold onto something that just isn't working in hopes of something miraculous to happen. For one, you can't teach and old dog new tricks. Secondly, why compromise your happiness if the flame just isn't there anymore? In the end, the two of you may work it out after some time apart. Time apart gives you a chance to explore new and exciting options, and also for the other person to perhaps "shape-up". As a young adult, we are still trying to figure out who we are, and what we can bring to the world. If someone doesn't appreciate the "you", you know and love, ditch him/her.
Also, you have to know who you are in order for someone else to really understand you. If you have a fear of being single, get over it. You can't explore your true self if you have a fear of being alone! Lastly, don't go looking for love, let it come to you!